REAL LIFE: Sarah re-started with a blank page

Sarah had lived in South Africa and Holland, before arriving in Norfolk with her mum, dad, and older brother and sister. Her parents were British-born, but this was her first experience of the UK, and it wasn't a good one.

"My dad's job fell through about two weeks before we arrived. We were never very well off; hence Dad travelled so much for work. We had no money and nowhere to live."

Sarah and her family were placed in two rooms in a B&B on the Norfolk coast. She was 11 years old at the time. "It was not a holiday home, absolutely not," says Sarah. "Our neighbours were … well, let's just say there were a lot of police raids, ambulances, windows breaking …."

Eventually they moved to a two-bedroom council house. "A great relief," says Sarah. But the strain of coping with the B&B had left her parents, particularly her mum, under a great deal of emotional stress. "A few months after we moved, my mum started to have affairs which led to my dad leaving us, going back to South Africa."

Sarah, describes the hardest decision she ever had to make: deciding which of her parents to live with. "I was 13, just starting high school. Mum was really volatile, not in a good place at all. But she was my mum and I needed her. Letting my dad go was awful, though."

Mum wasn't on her own for long, however, and her new boyfriend made it clear he didn't appreciate her kids being around. Sarah found herself on the plane to South Africa to join her dad. "While I was away there were a number of incidents between my brother and mum's boyfriend. By the time I came over for the Christmas holidays a year later, the boyfriend was gone."

Sarah decided to stay on with her mum, but things were clearly not good. Her sister had been forced to move out; the two just couldn't get on. But Sarah decided to get her head down and commit herself to year 9 studies with her old friends.

Sarah’s mum found a new partner, they married, but her moods didn't improve and she was always fighting with someone, often Sarah.

Sarah received a lot of support at school from the learning mentor. "I could go any time; quite often over the years I just broke down in her office. I couldn't cope with it all. I didn't want to abandon my mum, but things got so bad that I couldn't see any other way. I would have to do what my sister had done, and leave."

Sarah was just 16, and desperate. Where could she go? YMCA Norfolk's supported lodgings was contacted and Sarah met with Pam at YMCA's Great Yarmouth centre and was offered a room in the home of an elderly lady, one of their established hosts, by 4pm that day.

"It was a bit sudden, but I couldn't bear it any longer. Mum was upset, of course. This was her second daughter to run out on her, but I just couldn't support her emotionally any more."

Sarah describes the first night she spent at Irene's. "There wasn't much room, but it was quiet and I had my own space. I just remember being left in this room to unpack, totally daunted. I didn't even know where to start. It was like facing a blank page that was the rest of my life."

Sarah would still visit her mum, and with support from school and Pam at the YMCA, found that having the space apart helped to heal their relationship. They are now close again: “It's the best feeling in the world when she comes to me and I can help,” says Pam. “And she helps me too, of course!”

Despite all this turbulence and upheaval in her young life, Sarah has emerged from school with a good crop of GCSEs, all at A* to C grades. "Yes, I did well there," she says with well-deserved pleasure in her achievements.

And the future? "Just after I turned 17, Pam rang with the offer of a bed-sit. So I've just moved into my own place! It's better than I hoped, just perfect. I was feeling a little back to that daunted feeling I had when I first got to Irene's but after a week or so it really feels like mine.

"Getting into YMCA supported lodgings really put me on my feet and Pam's been great with all kinds of advice and support as I've needed it. I've just completed a performing arts course. That's where my heart is; singing, dancing, acting. I feel really positive, like I can go anywhere, do anything. So watch out world, here I come!"